This Privilege Called Motherhood

Randy asked me the other day if I ever regretted not being able to really start a career. Mini backdrop: I'd been thinking about starting nursing school in the fall of 2010. But that spring, we found out about our little surprise package coming in January. Scratch the nursing school idea. On to researching baby names. What Randy didn't know when he asked me that question is that I'd been thinking a lot about the answer already.

I'll be honest. Landon was not the easiest newborn. The first four months of his life he writhed and fussed and grimaced with constant tummy pain. I thought I was doomed to a life of simethicone drops and leg bicycling (you moms with gassy babies know what I'm talking about). Tears were the norm... which I guess I can also blame on hormones. I never thought that stage would pass, but it did. Now Landon is a crazy little guy who constantly needs to move, explore, and see everything that's going on. All at once. He's at a super fun age right now, and he thinks so too. He can actually get where he wants to get... Like the fireplace. And the stairs. And the outlets. So okay... He still needs constant attention. At times, I've been tempted to think, "Some days would be so much easier without him!" (Ok, admission: I have not only been tempted, I have actually thought those words - shocking, I know.)

But when I answered Randy, I'd already thought through all of this. And no, I did not answer him in a blog post. :) But I decided to write out my thoughts... that way I can go back and read them when I'm ready to tear my hair out!

The truth of it is, being a mom is the greatest privilege I could ever have. Yes, I have sleepless nights. I am still spit up on - constantly. Randy and I miss out on certain events because he goes to bed early. Trips can't be last-minute anymore. Grocery shopping takes double the time. But it is worth it all. Because we get to train up Landon in the ways of our great God. We get to live out the gospel on a daily basis. We get to talk to Landon about Jesus and all He has done and is still doing - for him. We get to love and disciple this little person God has so graciously gifted us with. In my book, that's pretty awesome.

My calling to be a mommy is not an obligation, a burden, or a hindrance to a career. It is a privilege that counts for eternity. And I would not trade one second of my time with Landon for extra sleep, cleaner clothes, or more frequent vacations.

Because I'm writing this does not mean I've got the hang of it. At all. I still have days when I'm fighting to shovel three more spoonfuls of food into Landon's mouth, and instead, it's traveling into his upturned nose and staining his eyelashes carrot orange. That's when I think to myself, "How in the world am I supposed to do this?" (Guess that's because I'm not supposed to be able to do it on my own... what a novel thought.)

I don't know if I'll ever go to nursing school -- maybe, maybe not. But this much I do know: Landon was not a "mistake." He is a precious gift given to me by a Friend who is all-powerful, all-gracious, and all-wise -- and He loves to give me good things.

And that's why I'm thankful for the blessing of being a mommy!